Lizzi Von DooLittle (vondoolittle) wrote,
Lizzi Von DooLittle

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The Madwoman Confesses to her Crimes...

I really ought to go to bed...

Apologies to vimster who read part of these as replies a while back, but I thought I should go public with my crimes against humanity...

It was a long time ago...I've repented and atoned for my sins...there are probably more than I've posted here, but these were the 'biggies', honest guvnor!!

School Confessions
(My Anarchy Days Are Over...)

When I spent three years as a school librarian at secondary school (1987-1989) I wrote an hour long Michael Jackson comedy musical for me and my library friends to perform...using all his songs from early Jackson Five days through to BAD...and lots of scripts about the original Star Trek crew, only they were all paired up with way way too much innuendo. Spock and Uhura, Kirk and Sulu etc etc!!

Also used to lock the doors to keep the first-years out and watch lots of Sesame Street, spent lots of time fucking about with the photocopier and kept a pot of mould under the desk for a year that we gave a name to and fed it bits of packed lunch every other day...tipped it out at the end of the year and it looked like solidified chocolate mousse...

And ground our sandwiches into the carpet in Mr. Pemberton's office where we were priveleged enough to eat our lunch...called him 'Pembleslap' behind his back because he was bald.

Also, when it was the end of the three years as librarian, we messed up all the shelves by mixing them up alphabetically and set the 'meccano-ey' bookshelves at zig zag angles lolol!!!

The worst things we did to the group's 'figure of fun' was pinning him to the ground and pulling down his trousers, and I performed an unfortunate experiment with the vulcan death grip, in which he ACTUALLY PASSED OUT!!!!

*hides in shame*

Oh, and I almost forgot poor Lawrence C., who we tied to the post outside the science block/english rooms by his tie and then stripped him naked and ran off leaving him there...

I wasn't a bully at school fact, the first three years at secondary school I was the bullied one...becoming a librarian was an escape of sorts, and even then I blame Amy for running me off the rails a bit...

Revenge perhaps?


It didn't stop there to be honest...

I went to a different school for sixth form in 1989/90 and paired up with Kathryn B. there...we wrote lots of silly scripts, and a play based on McNaughton's Insanity Clause after going to see 'Accidental Death of an Anarchist' by Dario Fo.

(I was labouring under such a defect of the mind and lapse of reason as not to know the cause and nature of the act I was committing)

We had many escapades before finally falling out after the school band trip to Normandy for a week. It was indeed Band Camp. I bought cigarettes and alcohol for all the kids with us (teenage) and we spent all week getting hammered in the dormitory at night...I even went and flashed in a basque to the boys in their room upstairs...

Then Kathryn and I drank too much on the ferry and made a mess of the bathrooms on the boat by trying to dye our hair black in the sink on board...and fell out over a guy we'd been chatting up on the boat.

Neither of us got his number though;)

Amongst many things Kathryn and I went through a whole phase of wanting white lab coats with a false arm on one sleeve so we could shake hands with people and then let the arm fall off...

...also managed to convince first years that the joss-sticks we were burning in the drama studio were cannabis and they could get high by toking on them... kicked off A-Level Art for allegedly spending more time on my goth makeup (speed and alcohol in actuality) than my work...

...and got into serious trouble for setting light to a Union Jack flag in the carpark outside the metalwork block lol!!!



I think I feel better now. Going to have another go at sleeping.

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