January 31st, 2005



My mother needs to learn that I am no longer a teenager. I am thirty years old, an adult (mostly) and have my own schedule.

My mother needs to learn that when you have spent two and a half years on the nightshift working till 6am you CANNOT just sleep HER REGULAR HOURS (10pm to 8am) on a Sunday night. Not if you want to manage to stay awake when you go to work 9pm on a Monday evening.

My mother needs to learn that I *do* try very very hard to be quiet in my room above her bedroom - but that it is NOT MY FAULT that my bodyclock is upside down and therefore I need to go downstairs to take a piss perhaps three times during her night/my day - and that I can't do ANYTHING about her choosing to live in a seriously creaky old house and inevitably the floorboards creak when I creep Schreck-like down the stairs at two am to go to the bathroom.

My mother needs to remember that I AM paying her rent...

My mother clearly needs valium.

Quite simply, she is an extremely light sleeper, worries too much and lies awake stressing about finances, her poor nerves and everybody elses... and then blames her inability to sleep on any little noise she hears (if it weren't me it would be dad fidgeting/snoring or vehicles going past) rather than the fact that it's JUST HER OWN PROBLEM. Her brain is keeping her awake - that and the fact that if anyone else around is awake and doing something she has to know what it is...

"What's the alternative?" I yelled at her today...

I already go out till about 3am on a saturday night, so that when I come in I don't disturb her - but would she rather I stayed down at the allnight bar or other people's houses till 4am on a Sunday night as well??? She wants me to go to bed at her hours on a night I stay in and it's impossible. I just can't do it.

Thank fuck I'm planning on moving out in the next couple of months...

/rant off


Mike is in the studio this evening with bandmates putting down about seven tracks - more next monday, I've just spent an extortionate amount on Amazon but can't tell you what because they're presents and also spent almost eighty quid renewing dotcom, dotcodotuk hosting/domain name. I've also suffered the monthly sting of 140 quids worth of ex's utility arrears and have to pay dear mamma two-hundred quid rent tommorrow.

It's payday today, obviously... But it AIN'T GONNA LAST!!!

Oh, and I have pancakey-yummy stuff for tommorrow - huzzah!! Gonna make loads, eat loads and vomit like the decadent fool I am...

*tootles off for cawfee*
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