August 24th, 2004


Things can only get better...(hopefully - they couldn't get any worse anyway)

As some of my friends may be aware, I am the QUEEN of procrastination. I freely admit it. I have spent most of my life putting things off until it's ALMOST too late - or perhaps it is, and I've given a cunning excuse - then done stuff in a mad sweat of panic and adrenalin.

It's how we've always worked with devised stuff at theatre, it's how I've always done schoolwork, creative projects, bills, it's how I've managed EVERYTHING.

So far, it's mostly worked rather well - albeit unnecessarily putting myself through a lot of stress when I could have spent time doing things slowly - but I've always maintained that adrenalin/lastminuteism has always produced the best work in me...

(Or I've had a ton of fantastic ideas and never got them to conclusion - unfinished projects scattered along the way once the initial rampant enthusiasm has died down. From hereon in I'm doing my best NOT to let that happen again.)

This time, however, I've got myself into such a state with packing and moving and sorting out bills and stuff that it's got me into trouble with work, got me seriously ill with a flu that has persisted for three weeks, messed up my bodyclock sleepwise and period-wise (too early, painful and lasting too long due to taking pills at the wrong time or forgetting altogether)...and I'm up against it by Friday again with too much to do and too little time.

I've not so much 'hit a wall' as 'stumbled over a series of hurdles', each one increasing in size as I pile the last one on top in front because I ran round/avoided it earlier lol!!

Bit of an assault course. Lots of little walls before I hit the big one I'd built up from the previous 'putting off'.

It all got to me last night, and I tried to take a night off work...then I had a nightmare in which I was packing my room but items kept duplicating so there was more and more...then I was super-stressed this morning - angry and cranky and wound up and miserable on the way into town...

Then it lifted at lunchtime.

From now on, I'm going to get things done.

I'm feeling a whole lot more positive, will pace myself with things to do by Friday - no, this time my list-making is NOT about putting it all off - it's about DOING THE THINGS I'VE LISTED ON THE INTENDED DAY lol!!

Starting tommorrow morning;) Yes, I figured I need a nice relaxing evening before I set at it with determined chin after work at 6am!

/soapbox off


Yesterday was spent avoiding the issue, in the company of my middle sister, her husband and two kids - was nice actually... Went to mothers to pick up boxes to pack the kitchen into, then to Stokes for vegetables and off to Oxfam - where I got a couple of vegetarian cookery books... Spent the afternoon drooling over recipes for yummy soups and entertaining things to do with a potato...

*raises eyebrow*

Went to work at 9pm, in the rain - work was tedious and tiresome and I applied for the night off...

Left work at 1.40am this morning on a half-day holiday (best I could wangle) - and then slept 2/3am till 7:30am. Had a visitor at 8:30 to go through tenancy-related stuff with my flatmate...this took till 10-ish and was extremely stressful, then I left to walk into town.

Went to the council tax office to explain the situation - happily I discovered I am only a FIVER in arrears - this cheered me up no end, as I'd been all doom-and-gloom this morning... So I celebrated with a spinach and feta slice from Holland and Barratt and some packet-y things to make interesting loaf/sausagey things... FUN!!

Went to the bank, cancelled some dds - without council tax and flat insurance I am going to be 100 quid a month better off already! Then a quick trip via Sainsbury's for necessary/unnecessary (brown rice/broccoli and cheese quiches, blah) supplies.

Shopping on an empty(ish) tummy is a BAD IDEA!!

Got home, unpacked shoppagey-stuff, retired to my room to make phone calls which left me even more positive/cheerier. So now it's cup-of-tea time, bathtime and going out before work to a posh restaurant/drinks or something - though I'll have to remain teetotal for work at 9pm lol!!

I am currently running a nice hot bath, which I shall drown myself in for half an hour before I clear out the kitchen and go out at 6pm-ish to meet Shauny for his 24th birthday celebrations!!!

I'm shattered, that's an understatement in fact, but I'm feeling better today. Only got my stage two meeting to go tomorrow night - hopefully it'll go the way I want, but if it doesn't, perhaps it's time for change? (Seems everything is going that way anyway...)

Following that, SWEB to deal with, BT to ring on Friday, various other bills/odds and sods to tie up, kitchen to pack, clean and move, and the mobile phone bill to pay off in full this month (since I'll be able to afford it - huzzah!) and PAYDAY ON FRIDAY!!!!!

*tired, slightly fuzzy, grin*
  • Current Music
    Soporific tones of Radio Two - I *must* be getting old:/