August 20th, 2004

darwinesque

To sleep or not to sleep...

Wednesday Night/Thursday Day

After being at my parents Wednesday afternoon, I went home via Safeway at 6pm. Got pizza, onion bhajis and milk. Went to bed at about 7pm to try to sleep till 9pm before work, but couldn't manage it as the kitchen/living room are above me and the flatmate was making a hell of a racket going backwards/forwards all evening.

Woke up at nine to find only half a pack of onion bhajis - which I'd bought for my lunch - and the entire pizza going into the oven so that my flatmate could eat it. Obviously, this made me cranky.

Fell asleep at work ALL night almost - sleeping for ten minutes every hour on my desk when we had a break, slept 35 mins out of my 40 min lunch break... Waking with enough time to eat the 4 mini onion bhajis that were left in the pack of 12 (!!!)and a tomato/herb cupasoup from the machine...

Got home 6:30am, was in bed by 7:30am and awake again at 10:30am after three hours sleep as my flatmate had visitors. They were very encouraging and I was glad they'd come to see him, but I went back to bed at 2pm intending to sleep and couldn't manage it. Didn't want to have to get up again so just laid there listening to the radio until 8pm when I dozed off for half an hour and had to wake up again to go to work...



Thursday Night/Friday Day

Work last night wasn't as bad - although I was dead tired, I only slept on a couple of eye breaks - this was because I was covering for duty obs for ten mins per hour, so it broke up my 'vacant stare at monitor' hourly pattern. I am going to leave my microwave here for my flatmate when I move the kitchen stuff out tommorrow - Steveo at work is giving me his Samsung one as he's having a new kitchen fitted. Timing couldn't be better!! This pleased me.

We got let out at 4:30am and I walked home in the dark. My team are an uncharitable bunch when it comes to lifts, even though they know I live on a park. To whit I encountered some moron walking his dog at 4:45 this morning. Big dog spotted me, barked and ran at me, so I ran into the brain injury unit carpark three doors down from me to hide lol! Got in at 5am after hiding from the dog and went to bed. Was asleep by 6am.

Just woke up at 3:30pm. Okay, so I've got nothing done today besides sleep, but I think I needed it. Going to stay up after work tommorrow morning to pack the kitchen anyway, and will be shifting it late afternoon.

By Wednesday at the latest, all my possessions will be gone from this flat. Flatmate has a visitation this coming monday to do paperwork, and another on my last Friday here. At least I am confident he'll be ok with this support now.

*stops to breathe - cigafee!!*



........................

Bloodflowers
Bloodflowers - You're distraught at the world
around you. Perhaps something has happened to
make you this way, but don't adopt bitterness.
It happens to us all. Cheer up.


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darwinesque

Plea

Please don't be specific about my situation in your replies to my posts atm. They get READ by the flatmate!!

Yes, I know he's OCD, depressive and agoraphobic - but I'm trying to keep this information OUT of my public journal. He's having a lot of help from the psychiatric doc, social worker, behavioural therapist etc etc etc now - but I don't want to go into detail in non-friends only posts. I'll do a proper post explaining the full situation of my last ten years of our relationship and the last twelve years of living with him when I've moved out and have brain-space to look at it objectively.

At the moment, I'm going along, moving out because I've been trying to get him to move out for the past two years, this hasn't happened and I can't afford to support him anymore. It's forced the issue with the crappy NHS mental health care so that they're actually helping him now rather than piling it all on to me - sorting out the situation I'm leaving him with and changing his meds so he's a bit more positive.

Btw, you can comment here: this is filtered and won't be read:/